DV Tip of the Week

5 MIN READ

I listen to a ton of classic rock. I started thinking about how some of the song titles relate back to domestic violence

This post covers some songs by the Rolling Stones.

Before you launch into a rant

I'm not saying the Stones are sensitive to DV issues. There's clearly some issues with the actual songs:

Angie talks about how you can't say we've never tried--a bit of victim blaming

Under My Thumb-pure power and control

Dead Flowers-A good song for a stalker

Sympathy for the Devil-- Speaks for itself

What I am saying is that their songs cue me to think about domestic violence the way my jurors might think about it.

Miss You

You're probably thinking about how batterers try to get back with their victims because they miss them. Let's not forget, that victims miss their abusers too. Not the abusive part, but the part of the relationship that was not abusive. We've all stayed in relationships (even non-abusive ones) longer than we should because we thought we could get the other person to "change."

Gimme Shelter

Shelter. Jurors tend to believe that victims should just leave and go to shelter. Sometimes shelter does not feel as safe as the environment they know.

You can't always get into shelter.

Even the best shelters aren't 4 star hotels. They also come with restrictions about coming and going, whether you can have pets, the availability of space for teenage male children, etc.

You can't always get what you want

We want perfect investigation. We want our victims to be cooperative (until they are and then we freak out). We want lower case volumes and more resources.

We want our juries to get it. Unless you are consistently bringing in expert testimony, your jurors won't "get it."

It's Only Rock n Roll (But I Like It)

For those of us committed to the work, it sometimes feels like whatever we do is never enough. Despite that feeling, we wouldn't trade this line of prosecution for anything.

Satisfaction

If you can't get satisfaction out of handling these cases. Reach out to me and let's find a way to get you some.

Email me: gfineman@dvtrainandconsult.com with any questions.

The legal stuff